Wow the last two weeks just FLEW by. The kids had loads of fun while we were home, playing outside and just being at home (peace). I on the other hand had more to get done than possible. Winter and Summer clothes were everywhere and we have loads of things we need to give away. The kids all have more clothes than any fifteen children could wear, toys galore and books in every corner of the house. I made an attempt to weed thru things while I was packing and cleaning up, but I am no where near done. Oh well.....til February anyway! I can try again then.
We went home to my fridge leaking on the floor and the freezer was "frozen" and the fan wasn't blowing. I hate the thought of buying a new fridge right here at Christmas, but thankfully, I may be able to make it with our dorm fridge until we return in February. That would work for me. :o)
We all went to Momma's for Thanksgiving with my Granny and sister and her family Wednesday night. It was different, but we made it through with minimal tears. I think I was so utterly frustrated with so many things that day, I didn't allow myself to feel much of anything else. Life just grabbed me by the seat of the pants that day and flung me in every direction when I wasn't looking. By the time we sat down to eat supper, I just wanted a nap. We spent the night at Momma's b/c of several reasons.....fridge, distance back home, fellowship, etc.
Thursday we went to my Daddy's sister's house for lunch. We have done this for years, different there this year as well, but we made it thru and talked about old itmes and had fun! Then we went back to Momma's and raked leaves. We really did have a fun time working together, but we were amazed when we were done at how many leaves my Momma had on the ground. It didn't look like that many when we started. haha
Friday morning I got up at 5am and went to shop online but websites weren't cooperating....WalMart.com was actually down for maintenance! Imagine that! So, I went back to bed til 7am. Then we woke up, ate breakfast, and went home to start the process of packing. I do NOT like packing and thinking thru all the things that go along with that. When kids were little, I had a list and everyone stayed out of the way while I did everything. They were too little to do much other than just run "fetch" this or that and I was in charge of what went into all the bags. Now, everyone is older and wants to do it themselves and only pack toys! haha Literally, one child had nothing (that matched) to wear to church for 3 weeks b/c they packed their own bag and didn't think it thru, and again I failed to double check it. Oh well.....I am only one woman and no one went to church without clothes on. :o)
Saturday I spent the better part of the day in tears, overwhelmed with grief at times that my Daddy is really gone, overwhelmed with being so far away from my Momma during this time of year, overwhelmed with packing up the things we use daily and moving it 7 hours away for 3 months, overwhelmed with not measuring up to what others near me think I should be, and overwhelmed with obeying what God has called me to do. Sometimes, I just feel like I am not hearing Him clearly b/c there is just no way I can do all that is required of me (at least with the kindness needed). I just don't seem to have it in me. I feel like I am in a centrifuge and spinning out of control and one day I am going to get out of this mess and realize that there is nothing left of me, it all got stripped away by people pulling and tugging on me constantly. YES.....this has been a tough week........
We are headed to look at a house tonight that has 5BR 3Baths to move into. We will be talking details and checking it out to see if it will work for us. I kind like the option to be so close to everything here in the apt, and kinda like the possibility to have kids on bunk beds here and have more room to play, but who knows......I am just rolling with the flow........what ever that entails.
Yes, I am very thankful too. I have a wonderful husband that loves me and wants to be with me (no matter how much work that involves), 5 wonderful individually unique children that love God, my Momma and Granny, Amy, wonderful church family in TN and AL, food on the table, clothes, shelter, and ALL of my needs are met daily. Even in the endless possibilities of what a day can hold here, I am still very thankful to have all that I do.
Trying to die to self daily for Him,
Tina
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment